Dr. Ishfaq Pervez Keyani (NO MBBS, FCPS, FRCS, MCPS, MRCS, DCH, DTCD, DTM&H bla bla bla) is a very good doctor.
Today he treated President Zardari with just one phone call. People assume that he provided psychotherapy to president via a teleconference. I don't know how much truth lies in this claim but I seriously think that army should shut down its existing medical set up in Pakistan, or at least in Rawalpindi, and make GHQ its base hospital.
Dr. Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhri (Bachelor of Judicial Pharmacology) also contributed to health of Mr. Zardari by prescribing pills of "Article 47". Zardari's health improved significantly without taking these pills and he approached media and said, he is absolutely fine.
Our sources reveal that following discussion took place between patient Zardari and Dr. Iftikhar
Dr. Iftikhar: G! kia hua hy?
Patient Zardari: tabeat kharab hy, Raton ko bury bury khwab aaty hen. aur........... aur......... aur........... men soch raha hon k kuch salon k liay mulk say bahir chala jaon!
Dr. Iftikhar: aur kuch?
Patient Zardari: aur .............. aur ........... aur.............. aur........
Dr. Iftikhar: bus bus bus, samj aa gai hy mujy, Tumhari sehat aur b bigar sakti hy. dawai likh deta hon. Sirf ek khorak say theek ho jao gy.
Patient Zardari: shukria.... ye sarkari dispensary say mil jati hy na?
Dr. Iftikhar: Aby muft khory kabi apni jaib say b kharch kr lia kr. Itni dolat qabar men ly k jaey ga? ............. Ab bta Article-47 likh don? 15 rupay ki ek goli hy! lay lo gy?
Patient Zardari: G Zaroor likh den g. Sasti hy aur wesy b Dr. Ishfaq ki goli say to menhgi nai hy na. wo to keh raha tha k 'operation' ho ga........
Dr. Iftikhar: Ye lo! Article-47, 10 mg, 1 Tab STAT
Patient Zardari: Dr . sahab iss ky koi Side Effects to nai hen na?
Dr. Iftikhar: nai bilkul safe hy. Bus iss ko kha kr tum president nai reh sakty,
Patient Zardari: oh yar men to mazaq kr raha tha. Meri tabeat to bilkul theek hy. hehehehehe
(Zardari leaves the clinic in hurry)....
Denial from PPP:
However Dr. Firdus Ashiq Awan dubbed all these reports as rumors. She said that AK 47 (ArtiKal 47) pills had nothing to do with President's health.
She said I made a "Phaki" for him myself. However she didn't disclosed the constituents of it and said "daiken ji ye hamara khandani nuskha hy aur hum issy sadion say apni bhenson ko khilaty aaey hen." She also revealed that American Scientists are trying make a pkhai like this "But I am sure they will never succeed".
When a reporter asked her why Americans will never succeed in stealing her formula? She said that "wo agar phaki bana b len to iss say koi farq nahen parta. Hamari phaki men Shaheedon ka khoon shamil hy. wo Mohtarma ka khoon kahan say laen gay?"
She said her phaki is available at all good medical stores, homeo stores, pansari shops, and general stores at a nominal price of 20 rupees. Noticing the low price of phaki she said that "daikhen ji, ye kam to hum awam ki khidmat k liay kr rahy hen. Hamari asal kamai ka zaria to commissions hen"